Donatello
by Kellie Fay
Summary: Thoughts hopes prayers and conversations that occured that first night after Adventures in Turtle Sitting.


Donatello:

Disclaimer: The TMNT and related characters belong to Mirage Comics.

A salute to Cylnee to beat me to this retrospective, but mines a bit longer.

**Casey: **

Casey couldn't take his eyes off the monster turtle in the containment case that was once the gentle quiet mutant turtle Donatello.

_Man this is so not like Don it's scary,_ Casey thought as the creature banged on the containment case. This creature was vicious and violent. Out of all four of the turtles, Donatello had always been the quiet one. He was always content to sit in the background and let his three other brothers fight for the limelight of attention. Only when he knew he could solve a particular problem did Donatello force himself out into the front lines and do what had to be done. Once the danger had passed Donatello would fade back behind his brothers, and almost like the ninja he was, disappear, hidden by the others stronger personalities.

Casey knew when it came to hanging out with the guys that he wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed, but he did see how the four of them worked together almost seamlessly. Leonardo depended on Donatello. Casey suspected that the ringleader for the four turtles wasn't even aware of how much they all depended on Donatello's smarts.

_Well they know now,_ Casey thought as he looked back at them. The three turtles were surrounding Leatherhead and Splinter trying to figure out a way to cure Donatello. Leonardo was flexing his left hand a bit. Casey understood what was bothering him. _It probably feels like to them like they lost a limb or something. _ The four of them were so tight in their bond that Casey was sure that losing Donatello was almost physically painful for all of them.

Casey turned back to the containment case only to see Donatello glaring at him. Suddenly without warning the double mutated turtle pounded on the glass nearest to Casey. The containment case began to wobble.

"Woah!" Casey moved to catch the case before it fell over. Leatherhead and Leonardo did the same. Within the case Donatello roared and pounded again with more intensity.

"What in the world just set him off again like that?" Leonardo wondered. "I thought he was finally wearing out."

"Beats me," Casey said with a shrug, "Unless he remembers me keeping him from eating April and me."

Leonardo frowned. Casey was almost worried that Leonardo was going to go back into that black mood that he had before Kurai destroyed their lair. Leonardo's voice was even though as he made his request. "Casey, why don't you get us something to eat, and while your at it take April home. I don't think there's anything you two can do for us right now."

"I want to stay Leo," April said defensively. "I can understand Don's notes that he has on the outbreak, and you're going to need some human contacts if you decide on getting help from the outside."

Leonardo sighed. "Okay April, it's your call." He turned back to Casey. "I guess then you're getting food for everyone Case."

"You got it Leo," Casey said with a nod. He reached out took April's hand and squeezed for a moment. She returned it and gave him a small kiss on the cheek. Casey nodded again and began to leave the lair.

From back by Leatherhead he heard his best friend Raphael said, "Oh and Case, get coffee. Lots of coffee. It's gonna be a long night."

**April:**

April watched Casey go. She took up his position watching Donatello. Once Casey was gone it appeared that Donatello had worn himself out and was now glaring at them all from the containment case.

Did Casey have any idea why Don might have really gone off like that? Did Don have any memories of his life at all now? Looking at him April wondered. She wondered if she could have any influence, and even if she could would it be fair to Donatello?

"I wish," April said not sure what she wanted to wish for. "I wish I could make you understand Don. I wish I could do something to help you."

She was aware of something that as far as she could figure out only Michelangelo knew for a fact. She remembered hearing them argue about it when they were all still healing up in North Hampton. She had made the trip back to New York to pick up a few of the things they had needed from their lair. When she got back she and Donatello spent all night going over some of their recent experiments. Splinter chased them both off to bed when he found them at sunrise pouring over notes and data tables.

Later when April was sweeping the front porch she could hear Donatello yelling at Michelangelo. That Mikey was getting yelled at by someone was very normal, but to have Don doing the yelling was not. April moved over to the bar and listened to the heated conversation.

"Must have been romantic you and April reading data tables by candlelight."

"Stop it Mikey that's not funny!"

Maybe someone should tell Casey that your muscling in on his woman!"

"I SAID STOP IT!"

Michelangelo was laughing, but then he paused, and said almost in an awed voice. "Man! You really do like her!"

"No I don't!" Donatello protested. But with a sad twinge in her heart April knew that wasn't true

"That's not what your body is telling me Don," Michelangelo said but now his voice was way more serious. "I mean your face is turning all copper and stuff."

Donatello must have had his teeth clenched because his voice sounded harsh. "I don't like April! Not like that. She's just a friend."

Michelangelo tisked at him. "Don you're a bad liar. That's why we never let you say anything when we were in trouble as kids. You could never tell a lie to save yourself."

"But you can!" Don's voice sounded steady, but still stressed. "And I'll thank you for keeping this to your self Michelangelo!"

"But Don," Michelangelo said confused. "You should tell April! I mean you know her and Casey have been getting cosy lately."

"And that's the way things should be, Mikey," Donatello said calming down. "If April and Casey get together on a permanent basis nothing would make me happier. It's bad enough we've disrupt her life the way we do. She needs someone normal in her life."

"Normal? This is Casey we're talking about." Michelangelo teased.

Much calmer now Donatello continued. "I've thought about this a lot Mikey. I'm not going to make presumptions I know aren't true. April cares about us, like younger brothers. She's put her life on the line for us a lot of times. I know she pays a little more attention to me because we work together a lot and have a lot of common interests, but I'm not going to be stupid about things because of it, and I'm not going to ruin our friendship over what I know is no more than a stupid crush."

Michelangelo was silent for a few seconds then with a grin April could hear he said, "She is pretty hot though isn't she."

With a bit of a stressful laugh Donatello said, "Yeah. If you knew some of the dreams I've had."

Eagerly Michelangelo said, "Wait you've had dreams about April?"

"Michelangelo if this goes farther than between the two of us so help me you can kiss your DVD player and your X box goodbye!"

"Okay! Okay Donnie, I don't even remembered what we talked about."

April fled back to the house before she was discovered. She always knew that in some way the four young teen reptiles had gotten emotionally attached to her. She also knew that all four of them were smart enough to know the attraction for what it was and not act on it. Sure Leonardo was overprotective even if it was just Raph or Mikey teasing her. Raph as always would run hot and cold ignoring her at first, but warming up to her a bit, and taking a lot of his frustration out on teasing Casey about his growing fondness for her. Mikey would gallantly overact as he mocked courted her, but now she wondered if even that was out of something a little stronger emotions than he would admit too. Don never went out of his way to let his emotions show though. It was always Don who would be the first to comfort her, when she was uneasy, or to volunteer with a chore she disliked, but she never knew that his feelings for her were that strong.

_He'd die of embarrassment if it ever got out,_ April thought. Don cared enough about her that he wouldn't act on his feelings. He said it would make him happy if she and Casey got together permanently. He wasn't going to even try to interfere even though he would love to have her attentions all to himself.

She had to do something about this.

Later she found everyone in the front room. She had spent the last two hours baking oatmeal raisin and peanut butter cookies. Raphael took one of the peanut butter ones and then looked at her with a frown. Oatmeal was Don's favorite cookie and Michelangelo preferred peanut butter.

"What no chocolate chip?" He complained.

April laughed. "Felt like making these," she said as she offered the cookies around. "I was thinking about a friend of mine from high school, and he always liked my cookies. I really should drop him a letter. He lives down in Florida.

"Casey grabbed one of each cookie and looked at April with a slight sneer. "Oh _he_ did?"

"Walter Mitchel. Wally the wonder geek to everyone else." April said wistfully. "He was my lab partner in chemistry and physics. He was the only boy in school who could keep up with me in lab. He had a horrible crush on me, but he never said anything."

"Was he handsome?" Michelangelo asked. "Cuz if he was I'm still wondering how you managed to end up with Casey. His scores bottom out in the brains and the looks department."

"So says green short and bald," Casey retorted back.

April laughed breaking up the minor quarrel. "He was short and skinny, with red hair and freckles everywhere even on his arms, but he was very charming and sweet and well mannered and he had a heart of gold." Here she sighed. "I never knew how strong he felt about me until right after we graduated. He moved down to Florida. He sent me a letter telling me how he always wished he had told me how he really felt or at least had asked me out, but at the time a lot of other boys were paying attention to me, and he was happy with the time we spent in lab and study hall together. He didn't want to ruin our friendship by doing something stupid." She managed to glance over at Michelangelo and Donatello both of them were now listening very carefully. "He told me in the letter that he hoped I'd find someone who would make me as happy as he would have." April coughed slightly and made her voice seem lighter. "Well he works for NASA now and every now and then we drop letters to each other. We're still pretty good friends."

Casey was looking at April directly as he polished off his cookies. "Regrets?"

April smiled. "No. If I had done anything to hint that I knew Wally had a crush on me the rest of the school would have been all over him, especially the guys on the sports teams. They just didn't understand him. Not to mention he would have been mortified. He told me he was content with what we had at lab, and he wouldn't have changed it for the whole world. I was just glad I didn't break his heart. He was so sweet I wouldn't have wanted to hurt him for the whole world."

Later while April was doing the dishes Michelangelo came into the room. "Any more cookies left?" He asked.

"Over there on the table," April said. She gave Michelangelo a sidelong glance. He and Donatello both have been giving her odd looks ever since she told the story of her high school friend. She wasn't going to say anything if they weren't.

"Soooo," Michelangelo said as he grabbed the last of the peanut butter cookies. "You write that friend of yours yet? Or do you need the mystical fibbing fairies to send it to him."

April laughed at that but wanted Michelangelo to just come out and ask. "Try again Mikey,"

With a sigh Michelangelo said, "Come on April level with me. That story about that Wally guy wasn't true at all. You heard me and Don in the barn earlier."

April gave Michelangelo a long look and then went back to dishwashing. "Wally was a real person. He was my lab partner, and he did have a crush on me. The only thing I lied about was him working up enough nerve to write and tell me about it. And if Don didn't want anyone to hear him in the barn, he shouldn't have shouted at you."

Michelangelo winced. "You did hear us! Don is gonna kill me!"

"I'm not going to say anything," April said evenly. "The only people who know about that conversation are you, Don and me. I'm not going to even say anything to Don unless he asks me first, and I have a plan for that anyway." April smiled. "Relax Mikey by tomorrow you'll be off the hook."

Sure enough later Don came in looking as if he'd rather be anywhere else. "Um April. Can I talk to you for a second."

April put the pencil behind her ear. "Don, I'm glad you're here. Can you check my figures for me. I don't' know what's wrong."

A little uncertain Donatello took the pad and pencil from April.

After he found her errors April showed him something in his own notes that had him busy for another hour. She managed to keep him distracted until Raphael came in looking for a soda.

"You two going over that stuff again? Casey's gonna get jealous."

Before Donatello could blush or say anything, April said, "I just wanted to go over these figures one more time. We're not pulling another all nighter."

"I hope not, otherwise I'm gonna throw a fit if Don gets excused from practice again tomorrow." Raphael said as he went into the fridge for his soda.

"We're done for now." April said. She got up from the table and went to door. "I'm ready for bed."

Suddenly Donatello smiled. "Oh April?" He said.

"Yeah Don?"

His grin grew larger. "Thanks,"

April smiled back. "No problem. See you in the morning."

Donatello never again tried to bring up what he and Michelangelo talked about in the barn. Neither did April. Everything went on exactly the way it did before, except for April making sure She gave Donatello some special attention when she could. She used Michelangelo as a spy to make sure that Don wasn't unhappy or jealous of Casey but according to Michelangelo the more time she and Casey spent together the more satisfied Donatello seemed to be.

April looked back at the creature that used to be Donatello and wondered. _Was it some kind of primal jealously that caused Don to go after Casey? Was it something I did? Oh man I hit him in the face with a broom? Is he going to remember that? Are we ever going to get him back to normal?_ Suddenly the weight of what was going on crashed down on her. Donatello her special little brother was lost inside the body of this monster. April suddenly dissolved into tears of pure despair.

**Michelangelo**

"April you okay?" Michelangelo asked. he knelt down at her side.

April buried herself in Michelangelo shoulder for a few seconds until she was able to speak again. "It's just that.. Do you think we'll be able to find a cure for Don?"

Michelangelo hugged April tightly. "You are not to worry about Don at all." Michelangelo gave her a gentle but firm order. "Why don't you go into my room and get some sleep. I'll keep an eye on Don for a while."

April tried to shake off her exhaustion. "No I..." A huge yawn and a hiccup got in her way.

"That's it!" Michelangelo insisted. "You are going to take a nap April!" He gently helped her to her feet and forced her over to his own room.

"But Mike," April protested.

"April go lay down," Michelangelo said with a heavy sigh. "Go on, or else I'm going to send Leo in there, and when you listen to him talk, you will fall asleep."

"All right Mikey," April said. She went into his room, and closed the door.

Michelangelo sighed in relief then sat down in April's chair to contemplate his brother Donatello.

_Man Don what are we going to do with you?_ As optimistic as he wanted to be for April even he wondered how in the world were they going to cure his double mutated brother. _If it was one of us in that thing Don would be burning the midnight oil right now trying to find a way to cure us._ Unfortunately it wasn't him or Leonardo or Raphael who had been mutated a second time. It was the one turtle they really needed right now.

_Stop that,_ he ordered himself as he pushed the negative thoughts from his mind. Negativity was Raphael's scene, and for a time Leonardo's. When Leonardo said they were going to hunt down a cure for Don, he sounded so confidant, but even he had no idea where to begin.

Still Michelangelo knew what his role was going to be in this three fourths of a team. Even if he didn't understand half of what Don usually talked about he watched enough Sci Fi to understand some of it. Hopefully enough to help Leo and Raph come up with an idea or two. More importantly, Michelangelo knew that he was going to have to do for his brothers what he just did for April.

_I'm going to have to encourage them, and make them see the positive,_ he thought with a nod to himself. It was a role he was used to playing. More often than not he played the fool to give his brothers something to smile at. It was a role he enjoyed playing, but sometimes it made it hard for his brothers' to take him seriously.

All the same he was going to have to tone it down. Leonardo and Raphael wouldn't be in the mood for bad jokes right now. They need pep talks and hope right now, not nonsense. _I'll probably have to throw a few bad jokes in there anyway, just so Leo and Raph don't' think I've lost hope anyway._ Was he without hope right now? If this had happened back when Leonardo was still acting weird it might have sent Michelangelo over the edge now, but not now. Leonardo was back with them and as steady as he had ever been. They wouldn't talk about it in front of him but all three of them noticed that Leonardo's skills were even better than they had been prior to his pilgrimage. Raphael stewed about it a little mumbling that it wasn't fair. Leo went crazy and when he comes back he's better than he ever was before. It made Michelangelo smile though. Long ago he wished that something would happen to bring their Leo back to them. If Leo came back with a new and improved label that was fine with him.

Maybe that's what they needed right now, another whish granted. True he wasn't outside looking at stars or anything, but he gazed up at Donatello and breathed out a silent wish.

**Raphael**

"Making another wish Mikey?"

Michelangelo turned with a smile to see Raphael behind him. "Yeah I figured it wouldn't hurt." He said sheepishly.

Raphael placed a hand on his shoulder and gave his brother a grin. "Might even help Mikey you never know." Then in a change in subject he said, "Casey's back with some sandwiches. Get yourself something to eat. I'll watch Don while you do."

Michelangelo was hungry, but he wasn't sure if he should leave off his vigil. He was about to say he was all right when his stomach suddenly growled.

Raphael smiled at that. "See I told Leo it was your stomach and not Don. Go get something to eat Mikey."

Michelangelo shrugged and got to his feet. "Okay Raph, thanks."

"No problem bro." Raphael watched at Michelangelo moved over to where Casey was giving out the sandwiches. Then he turned to face his brother in the containment case.

_Damn,_ Raphael thought. There was no way he could look at Donatello without getting angry. Each time he looked at his brother all he could think about was Bishop and how he wanted to kill the government agent slowly and painfully. He wanted to force the cure out of Bishop by making Bishop suffer as much as Donatello was suffering now. If he let it, the rage burning inside his soul would grow to an unstoppable inferno, it would eat away at his logic and reason and turn him into a ruthless mindless killer, and Bishop and any who stood in his way would become his targets.

He wanted to go running through the sewers to blow off some steam. He wanted to start hunting for Bishop and his cronies and start busting heads, but he knew he shouldn't. The life lesson about running off half cocked still stuck in his head, more so when he thought about Donatello. It was Don who caught him rubbing his eyes days later. It was Don who insisted he use the medicines he suggested and warned him the consequences of slowly losing his vision again if he wasn't careful. There was never a word of reproach or judgment from Donatello about what he had done. His only concern was for Raphael's health.

Raphael did something that he only started doing when Leonardo had gone though his bad mood. He sucked in his temper and tried to make the energy from his anger sink into the floor though his feet. He taught himself to do that months ago knowing that while Leonardo wasn't himself he had to remain steady for Donatello and Michelangelo. He hated it, but he knew that it was necessary. Donatello had laughed once when Michelangelo asked if he and Leonardo had just switched masks to confuse them. Raphael admitted he didn't like his new role as the level headed one, but he wasn't about to leave his other two brothers without someone they could trust to lean on.

Raphael was wonderfully relieved when Leonardo returned from his pilgrimage, as level headed and calm as he had ever been. He was taking advantage of his new freedom and was getting a little wild again, but now it would only take a word from Leo or the others to calm him down.

Raphael wanted to go off right now, but he knew he couldn't. It wasn't Leo down this time, it was Donatello. Trying to be an extra support in place of Leonardo was one thing. Trying to be a support for a disabled Donatello was something else all together. He knew he wasn't going to be able to do that. The best thing he could do was be the support for Leonardo if he started going back into a downward spiral again.

**Leonardo: **

"You Okay Raph?"

Leonardo had come up next to Raphael so silently Raphael hadn't even noticed. He jumped slightly not even aware that he had lost himself so much in thought.

"Huh? Oh I'm okay Leo, I was just thinking."

"I noticed." Raphael noticed that his brother's voice was still even still pretty calm, but Raphael wondered if that was a good thing or not.

"Leo are you okay?" Raphael asked allowing some real concern to leak into his voice.

With a heavy sigh Leonardo said, "There was nothing either one of us could have done to stop this. We had no idea that Don's injury had infected him with the outbreak virus."

"It's not that," Raphael tried to explain. He began to pace back and forth. "I wanna go find Bishop and stuff some one of those mutated monsters of his down his throat! I wanna tear him limb from limb! I wanna -"

"Easy, Raph," Leonardo said placing a gentle hand on his shell. "It's okay if you want to be mad at Bishop, but I'd rather you not kill him yet."

Raphael gave Leo a puzzled glance. "Why not?" He snapped back a little harsher than he intended.

Leonardo sighed and looked very sad. "In order to find a cure for Don, we may actually need to approach Bishop."

"What?" Raphael said. He was sure he didn't hear that right.

Leonardo swallowed and said it again. "We may have to approach Bishop to see if he can help us cure Don." Before Raphael could say anything. Leonardo continued. "I don't like it either, but if Leatherhead can't come up with a cure we need to know what Bishop knows! Bishop's people are destroying any mutants they come in contact with. We don't want Don hurt but we do need access to Bishop's knowledge of the composition of the original substance. It may be the only way to save Don!"

Leo was right. Raphael didn't like this at all, but he knew Leo was right. Again he drove his anger down into the floor, but he could feel himself growing closer and closer to cutting loose.

Leo must have sensed Raphael's stress. "Raph why don't you go set up a bag and blow off some steam. You look about ready to kill something and if you don't take care of it now your going to explode."

Raphael didn't want to Leave Don, but he knew that Leo was right. "All right Leo," Raphael said. He wandered off to find a place where he could punch something harmless, leaving Leonardo in front of Donatello.

Leonardo sighed and placed his hand back on the glass. Could Donatello recognize them? Was he aware of their presence? Was there anything they could do to at least bring back Donatello's mind? Not for the first time that night Leonardo began to feel that horrible helpless feeling that there should have been something he could have done to protect his brother better.

The moment he felt that pain in his heart he felt a different type of pain all together. Leonardo looked at the heal of his left hand and flexed it gingerly. The wound given to him months ago had healed but every time his thoughts began to wander into dangerous territory the old injury would twinge reminding him of the lesson the Ancient One taught him.

It happened early in his stay with the Ancient One. He had just begun to understand why Splinter had sent him away, but he still was slightly obsessed with trying to be perfect. The Ancient One began to set Leonardo harder and harder tasks forcing him to acknowledge his limitations. Still Leonardo thought it was a test of some kind and work doubly hard to succeed. Finally The Ancient One set him an impossible task. As Leonardo got more and more frustrated that he couldn't succeed The Ancient One finally made his final point.

"Give me your sword," The Ancient One demanded. Mortified that he had failed, Leonardo had complied, and was shocked as the Ancient One took his hand and made a small cut along the heal of his hand.

"You are mortal!" The Ancient One said forcefully as Leonardo stared at the cut in shock. He didn't expect the Ancient One to cut him. "You eat you drink you bleed and you will DIE as all living things will! You are not immortal! You will never be immortal and one day no matter how prepared you are one day you will die. There will always be things you cannot do! And there is no dishonor in being defeated by an enemy who is stronger than you. As long as you are alive it matters not! "

It had been a hard lesson to learn, but gradually Leonardo began to understand he had to admit when he was in over his head. Don would often admit that there was a machine or device that he could not fix. He was just take it apart for parts then. Even Raphael would admit when he would get out of control. Mikey would always admit to not being as good as any of his brothers. Leonardo hated to admit when there was something he couldn't do. It was the hardest lesson he learned with The Ancient One.

Looking up at Donatello again Leonardo felt both the pain in his hand and the helplessness in his heart. What could they do for Donatello. _I know there are things I will never be able to do, but please don't let this be one of them. We have to find a cure for Don. We have to, no matter what it takes. Even if that means making a deal with Bishop._ Just like Raphael thinking about Bishop made Leonardo's blood boil. He hadn't forgotten how Bishop had kidnaped Splinter and how his monsters were wreaking havoc in the city, but none of that mattered right now. If Bishop could help them cure Donatello Leonardo was more than willing to deal with him. He would go to the underworld and back to save Donatello.

**Splinter **

"My son?"

"Master Splinter," Leonardo wiped at tear from his eyes. "I thought you were resting."

Splinter looked up at Donatello who had finally settled down in the containment tube. "How can I rest when Donatello is like this?"

"There's nothing we can do right now sensei," Leonardo said evenly. "You're not going to do us any good by worrying."

"I do not wish to burden you or your brothers, Leonardo," Splinter said sadly. "But all this evening I have been remembering how I found you and your brothers, and now I fear all I will have from Donatello are memories."

"We're going to find a cure, Sensei," Leonardo said firmly. "I don't care if we have to go straight to Bishop to do it, but we will find a cure."

"You're faith and determination fills me with hope, Leonardo," Splinter told him. "But I would ask you to be careful if you go to confront Bishop. You may realize the necessity of dealing with him, but you must never forget that he does not have your care and concern for Donatello. Confronting Bishop will be dangerous. Take care."

"We will Sensei," Leonardo tried to reassure him. "And we will find a way to help Don."

"I know you will, my son," Splinter said firmly. "I know you will."

Just then Michelangelo and Raphael came over. Michelangelo had two halves of a meatball hero in both hands. He handed on to Leonardo and one to Splinter. "This is the last hero guys. You'd better eat up."

Leonardo and Splinter accepted the food and nibbled as they looked at their brother trapped in the containment tube. Michelangelo and Raphael drew closer. Without being prompted to Raphael said, "We'll find a way Leo. We'll find a way."

"You know it!" Michelangelo added.

Leonardo nodded. "We will not fail."

April and Casey along with Leatherhead.

"We're behind you guys," April said.

"One hundred percent," Casey added.

"Whatever we can do," Leatherhead agreed.

Splinter sighed and leaned on the support of his sons and their friends. _With allies such as these we cannot fail._

_We will not fail._

_Donatello my son, we will not abandon you._


End file.
